doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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