you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
