I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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