she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
