I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
