We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
