I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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