Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
