Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
