I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
