Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize
