what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
You made out with two different species that night
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
