If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize