can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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