If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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