i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
