nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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