isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
