you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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