bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I want to make a zoo with you.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
