And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
