just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
