so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
