i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Randomize
