I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
