It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
i've created a new STD.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
