drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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