This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Randomize