Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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