She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
