Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
