Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
