she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
