I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
