We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
