i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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