Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Can you bring me the toilet please
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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