youre lurking in front of me
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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