Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
