just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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