i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
there was a trapeze. enough said
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
