I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize