Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
