the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
