Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize