"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
