it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
