When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
do herpes really smell.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
