As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
