im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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