Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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