Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
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