This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
