I think scott just propositioned me for sex
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize