If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
