she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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