It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize