Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
