I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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