my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
